My Words, Your Words

The chosen one who possess nothing
Remain unscattered until the very end
The world will soon finally meets its ending
This lonely universe was distorted without no one even knowing
The abyss was exposed and the time yearns for eternal sleep

The sky has finally closed its eyes until that day
When there are no more overwhelmed despair
The grace that we received by everlasting love
That guiding light that we followed unknowingly
Something we are longing for are cease to exist

When we exhale our last breath
Inside this imaginary decayed world
The disappearance of the symphony of this life
Portrayed deep within our eyes and our minds

If the nothingness is able to invade almost everything
How can we win and what will be left for us in the future?
Who will stand up for the sake of that hope?
Will you able to sing our melody?

We won't allow it to end like this, right?

We are so behind
Please wake up, let us go
As it should

Can you hear it?
Can you feel it?
We believe it
We can believe it
We are able to believe it

It's a promise
In this world we live in
We are supposed to be the light

You promised me that day
I don't want and I can't keep it by myself
If you wish to become one
Please, shout it and make it true

Let your emotions overflow
Let's reach that dream together
Let our outstretched arms be the proof

I can't tell anyone but I want to tell someone
You are important to me more than anyone else
Sort of...

If there's no choice means there's no change
Yeah, that's how I really want you to be...

I'm the one who see it
I'm the one who find it
I stare at it and I'm sure about it

You're the one who despise it
You're the one who abandoned it
You see into it and You never think about it

I can't say it honestly but you can say it
I can't be tender but you can be tender
You hurt me but I can't hurt you
We already lost sight of the light

As only a map of the world
One of many that will lead them
To and from the doors

When iniquities prevail against me
You atone for our transgressions
All those feelings enabled us
To prevail against the war

You will never see it
You will never find it
You are not there
Because I'm the girl

Because I remember you that I'm the girl
Because I don't forget that I'm the girl
I stand up for no one else
Because I'm the girl

I tried, I keep on trying, I'm doing my best
I tried my best to follow the order
I put all of my efforts into it
Because I know that when I put everything into it
Everything is going to be okay

But sometimes reality is just cruel
But sometimes everything went worse than expected
But sometimes you have to lower down your expectation
But sometimes we only could listen without saying anything
But sometimes we have to cry instead of laugh or smile
But sometimes all of your efforts means nothing
But sometimes human is far worse than you thought

At that time, my words seems so powerless
Being unable to express my disappointment
Is it hard to appreciate a very simple thing in this life?
Is it impossible for us to accept everything as it is?
Why I always ended up like this?

Even if I have to cry until no more tears left, I don't think it's needed
I don't want you to know, let me taste all my tears by myself
Even if I have to scream until I lost my voice, I don't think it's important
I don't want you to listen,  let me feel all my pain by myself

Maybe I need your attention
Maybe I want your appreciation
Maybe I wish that you care for me
Maybe I'm no longer a human
Maybe I'm just selfish

I'm sorry for being like this
I don't want you to know
I know all those things are for me
I know I will be better after this
I know I was wrong all those time
I just want to believe

Where are you going?
Fun, sad, and kind story
Where is that story now
And what is it like?

If a flower bloom by your side
I'll fall alone, quietly
And after watching your smile
I will escape from the abyss of despair

The snow and the smell of winter
Cut through today's sky
How was the scenery you saw?

Do you still remember the destination you once had?
What I wanted to be?
What I wanted to have?
Why do I keep fluttering my wings?
Why do I keep feeling a lonely aria?

If I could flow like the wind
If I could shine like the moon
I would...

Maybe it wasn't there
Maybe it was a dream or illusion
Maybe I slept too long
Yeah, maybe...

All I can see around me is just a fragments
Maybe it was me who shattered into pieces
I know that you're in denial

I just don't understand
When good intentions are rejected
Nothing is important anymore right?
You should leave the fake hope
I don't want to see fake smile anymore
You shake your head
I should know from the beginning
You're just an illusion of happiness

Two of us believing the same future
Which will never come
You're not a lifeless doll
That always putting a mask of happiness in your face
You know we're so devastated inside

I'm weak, if you say I'm strong, I'm lying
Tenderness and selfishness, I just can't see it anymore
How do you see me? I can't see the real shape of myself

I'm not desperately asking for compassion
Tell me a sweet lie and this body will be devoured
Infect me with your lies and fill me with your poison
Please show me madness

Something inside me has disappeared
Even if you don't believe me
Just face it, be hurt, feel the pain

Maybe I'm just afraid of being hurt by believing but...
I have the courage to let go of something and...
What you see within me is something you have done in the past so...
I will stay as myself forever

I've always been living in the present
Spring has come and Winter has gone
Summer will come soon and Fall follows next
It was inevitable, I repeated such a life

What did you saw yesterday?
What do you see today?
What will you see tomorrow?
Can you embrace them all?
I believe you can

Do you still have the same dream?
Four seasons has passed, what is it like?
Do you give up with your love?
Where is that love now?
I don't have even one regret

Again and again I want to shout
Not to forget you at any time
But, you were crying and your voices ceased
How do I look in your eyes?

I wonder if
When I fall in love next time
Will it be with someone who has your name again?
Will you smiling together with the falling petals?
I want to feel the warm breezy wind of spring once again

Please ring that bell
The bell that bears happiness tone
So I can feel the warmth of Spring
Even though the snow is falling

Time has passed
If crying makes it better, then cry
Will you?

Can you feel the pain in this face?
The scattered face with no shape
All those scars are the proof
The proof that I'm the same as you

You shout, You laugh, You cry
Don't you understand?
You live a life in a normal way
Don't you think so?
This is not a game

We're sinners and you can't deny it
Searching for the lost answer desperately
To the end of the world

Can you see it? Can you feel it?
The fresh blood flows within you
When your heart is stabbed by sharp words
It's spills all over the place
Feel the pressure and be desperate
So you can keep struggling

When you feel so alive like yesterday
You act like never want to lose that feeling again
When you feel so alive like today
You're pretending didn't see the deep red scenery
Isn't that a lie?

We're sinners and you can't deny it
Stabbing and piercing one another with "Our way of life"
Revealing another face endlessly

...endlessly

Something inside my mind
Demand to attack each other
Because the darkness in your mind shines brightly

Your wish and your excitement
It's all in your head
But when terrific moments come
Everything devastated into anger
Don't tell me it was a major mistake

I can tell that your heart is hungry
Because time will tell
When your own standard eat you up

Your own standard, pride, and excitement
Wrap it all in your own mind because this is a not a game
Everyone wants to win and no one wants to lose either

I wish that novelty wears off in the moment of time
So I can go through the stormy seas
We're not above the board but we live in a land
I want to get rid of all influences

Let us cross the world's limit
To go through the borderline
Let us be blind and be deaf
To live at the present time

The sadness keeps resonating
Just like a sharp blade
Pierced through my feelings

Words that proclaimed in this universe
Is not an empty dream
Just like an empty vessel
Vacillated to the bottom of the sea

I will praise these poisonous words
So I can continue fly to the highest place
Your voice calling out for me
Always only turns into sadness

But if...

The world is began to diminish
In this land of wilderness
We only can see the loveless creature
So where is the freedom?

My powerless body is sinking to the past
If you can’t see me, then it’s like I’m not there
My darkening heart keeps yearning
If you can't feel me, then it's like I'm not there

Notes:
My first writing in 2011, for this year I'm aiming to write something more complicated, which makes the reader wondering if they can interpret it very well or not, there's no secret here actually. Anyway, please welcome 2011 and Happy (Chinese) New Year! Since I forgot~

I was raised with so much love
Loneliness, Pain, Parting away
You teach me all of them

In order to become stronger
You give me a pair of wings
I shout, I hurt, I struggle
Until I understand what my tears are for

I want to meet another person
Who could reflect your image
I want to be loved by that person

You taught me that accepting means love
Because you always accept me
You show me the image of the future and teach me
How to walk in that way

How could I forget that day
When I couldn't treat myself?
Only you can understand my expression
When I'm happy or When I'm sad
I can't hide it from you

Why do I forget that I was raised with so much love?
Who is the person that always accept me?
The words "Thank You" isn't enough
To express my honest gratitude
Can you show me love once again?

Sorry if I couldn't say this clearly until now
"You're the only person who can show me love"
I keep repeating that words for a long time and
I can't hold my tears anymore

Have I lost a valuable thing in my life?
I'm not pretending to be grown up
But the time is behind me, chasing me
I'm already grown up

I'm so grateful to reality
Who teach me to cry and smile
So I won't looking for an answer anymore

I don't care if somebody know me very well
Who shed tears as if I was laughing
And laugh as if I was crying
Saying goodbye to memories is just like me

Is it like this? Is it always the same?
I couldn't get used to each other
But I tried, I did my best
I'm just trying to remember

I'm so grateful to reality
Who hurt me yet teach me struggling
So I can laugh to my innocence in the past

I understand what is the meaning of your tears
So I'm singing a love song
I know I didn't lose anything yet

The happiness is gone with the wind
Yet you didn't realize that
I hope someday you will understand
How fragile is our life

Long, Long time ago
I remember someone who always taught me
A warming and soothing fairytale
I wonder where that person now?

Sometimes I want to see the future
Decorated with sprinkle stars
Yet sometimes I start to have doubt
About things I always took for granted

Where is the nostalgic color I've always want to see?
I know if I keep moving forward I will reach it someday
When I think about the future in front of me
It's shining, so far away under the sky

When the joy and the pain
Living together as one
I'll surely rise without no regrets

I will never let my dream go
Let's embrace it with hope
Because we will return to that place
Filled with tears of happiness

There's no such thing called eternity
That's why I can move on and leave the universe behind
I will surpass the limit by myself and continue to smile

The shape of the future looks so plain from a distance
Blue sky, White clouds, what a common scene in the sky
Do you think that we can go beyond those common scene?

What is the thing that I expect
When everything goes normally in every way?
I know that I have no chance
So, I'm losing your smile

The universe were so small from above
I can see the peachy colors of spring
Blossoming everywhere throughout people's heart

Things that I like and I don't like
I don't care anymore at all right now
As long as I can spread my broken wings
Within this beautiful world

Nothing can stop me with this speed
Even the flawless smiling angel in this universe
I'm going to say goodbye like a butterfly
Because I know a new day is waiting for me

This trembling finger is such a restless feeling
My heart is scattered within my mind
I'm hugging my knees in the corner of this world

How many path should I choose?
I no can think of anything but you
A melody of sorrowful tune played in my heart
And break everything apart into pieces

How do I survive from this?
I can't exetend my hands to reach you
You, The illusion that dwelling inside me
Finally began to sparkling

As hard as a diamond
That's what a heart should be
If tomorrow never exist
The word 'stronger' wouldn't exist as well

When someone taught me about empty feeling
The pain goes deeper and deeper
I want to become an unwithering flower

How could I say 'Let's go'?
I only embrace this moment by myself
There is only one thing very important to me now
And you know what the answer is

How do I escape from this?
I'm going to see the lights without you
You, the image from the future inside me
Is now at my hand

As beautiful as a diamond
That's what a heart should be
If the future never exist
The word 'brighter' wouldn't exist as well

It's been a year since I know you
You were so clumsy yet funny
I was an innocent person back then

I tried to tracing the old footprints
The path we have chosen seems different
We keep running as if never tired
I wonder why?

Now I realized that we're completely lost
We were raised with those feelings
No hope yet No despair
Clear like the boundless sky

When I'm gone somewhere
I hope you will searching for me
Even if you're lost in the eternal paradise
Where we will reunite together again

When I arrived at my home
There was a brown scarf in front of my door
Instead of you who should give that present to me

The Happy Birthday message from the scarf
Will always bring the warm feeling to me
Even if I couldn't meet you that night
I feel like you are very close to me

Since that day I have changed
Now I understand the meaning of your kindness
Every time I remember the brown scarf
My tears would dropped once again

When I'm gone somewhere
I hope you will find me
Even if you're trapped in the reality
Where our memories will live forever

The falling snow of this night is very beautiful
White colors over the orange lights under the cobalt sky
My heart is as cold as that night today
Neither hope nor despair comes to me

You said to me, "I'm proud of you"
But you never care what I feel
And you never understand what I want

Sometimes I wish upon that shooting star
I don't want tomorrow comes so early
Why the future is never listened to me,
And the past always dictating me?

I want to see the scenery of this night once again
When it comes to me, surely I will cry again
Does it okay if I keep shedding my tears like this?

I will never listen to the past anymore like the future does
Because of this present, I will keep living in a good path
When the season changes, you will find the answer
The falling petal of that season would surely greet us

I'm willing to throw anything in my heart
To the sea where my feelings are drowned

Escaping frantically in the night
I feel the big wind towards me
Reaching the destination safely is not like me

"Why would I keep chasing on that star?"
I have nothing to say right now
What I really need is to keep this feeling
Because it will remain as my wish

I'm not going to run away forever
To the valley where my despair are lost
I won't wasting my time for anything I do

"Does it necessary to say the things I hate?"
I refrain myself for saying it again
Through the pain I used to feel
I could endure a little bit more

Now the thing that left inside me
Would change someday with a dream inside
I will embrace this moments
As long as I have the strong will
Bright and warm...

It's just a moment in the night
You won't hear any scream
It's just quiet and calm night
Even that quiet, moonlight shines brightly

And someone calls you, talk to you
And each words flowing out
And become your memories

As the time goes by
Which bring you closer to the end of days
Your heart starts to hope and make a promise
It looks like you don't know what you feel
But it is warm as if your heart wants to embrace something

Hope, what a good words
Will bring us into the dream
Even it is so far away
Even I can't see it

You were saved in this hope
But hope that is seen is not hope
Why does one still hope for what it sees?

But if we hope for what we don't see
We can eagerly wait for it